Gormsen Appliance. Monday morning, they sent over a repairman in full coveralls with his name, Russ, written in neat cursive on his “suit.” He arrived straight from 1950, and chatted me up as he replaced the thermostat, which had gone bad and caused the entire vent system to freeze over (I was on the right track with the hair dryer, just didn’t have the equipment to fix it). Anyway, an hour later, the freezer was up and running, and three hours later, I was eating twice frozen ice cream with massive ice crystals in it. Anyway…while we were thawed, here are the five things I missed most.
1.Ice- The weirdest thing about Europe is their disdain for iced drinks. I was in Berlin this summer, and ordered a coke at a movie theater. It came in the same massive size that theaters in America have, only NO ICE. And when I asked for ice, I was given a look of disgust instead. Eventually, after minutes of explanation and barter, I managed to get 2 ice cubes for my 32 ounce soda, which melted almost immediately.
When I moved to the beach this last year, I left a nice place with a nice kitchen. And to this day I miss my dishwasher so much…however in my new place, my freezer has an automatic ice maker/dispenser. This is the most valuable thing in my home. Not having to bother filling and waiting for ice trays to freeze is worth millions to me. So when I woke up cotton mouthed on Sunday morning and pushed my cup on the ice button, only to hear empty mechanical whining, I think I might have begun to cry. I definitely became dehydrated over the ensuing hours, as I refuse to drink juices and water without ice. Definitely the number one loss with regards to my thaw crisis.
2. It’s Its- I must admit, the first time I tried these, it was around ALOT of hype. And at first, I didn’t get it…the texture just didn’t work for me. But I gave it another go, and another, and another, and now I AM HOOKED. If you are not lucky enough to live in California and have access to these, its worth the trip by itself. Vanilla ice cream, sandwiched between two oatmeal cookies, frozen in a chocolate shell. Trust me…as I trusted others. Incredible.
3. Individually Wrapped Tyson Chicken Breasts- I get these at costco. A wonderful product. Usually…chicken breast is expensive, easily freezer burned, and get frozen stuck together and it is difficult to thaw one out for an individual meal. For 16 dollars at costco, you get a ridiculous amount of these things, each one in its own plastic packaging, airtight to prevent freezer burn issues and sticking together. Without the freezer, its daily grocery store if I want to make chicken, and its not like I can buy 1 breast at Vons.
4. Double Rainbow Ice Cream (vanilla). Okay…I know I already have an ice cream product on this list, but I eat a LOT of ice cream. And since being introduced to this by a friend that I try to avoid admitting is correct at all times, I have given up Breyers (an old family favorite) for good. This stuff, like the it’s it, comes from the Bay area. Here in San Diego, we can get it in large sizes at the trader joes, though I am not sure if that is the same for the East Coast. I particularly enjoy putting loads of Milo powder, or Ovaltine powder all over it, makes it kind of like a milo mcflurry, only with good ice cream. There are few times when I don’t have this in my freezer. It really is, simply the best there is.
5. Frozen Roti Canai- Roti Canai really is the best tasting snack in the entire world. Unfortunately, as someone who’s tried to learn from some of the best Kuala Lumpur Roti flippers, it is NOT easy to make. 99 Ranch sells frozen roti in packs of 5, for less than 2 dollars. I generally eat them roti gula style, because I am not yet an ace with my curry. Though sometimes I do hit up and indian restaurant for some dal, though it never really tastes like the dal from home. I never have less than 5 packages in my freezer, which sucks, because when they thaw, the dough all sticks together and you are kind of screwed. These do NOT refreeze well. So off to Mira Mesa I am this week, to restock on roti.
Lesson learned? Maintain your freezer, and call Gormsen at the first sign of problems.
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Twas the night before the state of West Virginia validates itself as a solid component of Hillary’s remaining voter base. That of course being white people who did not go to college (and are probably also racist and will end up voting Republican in the general election anyway). Most of the Democratic voters are vestigal remnants from the days before Chuck Heston flew in to town and told them that the liberal sissies were going to take away their guns, force them to marry someone of the same sex, and then have free abortion clinics on every corner. Unfortunately, many of the social stereotypes about West Virginia are based in some degree of truth. And while its hard not to perceive some implied and outright criticism of West Virginians in my opening to this rant, I, like Bobby Huggins, truly do believe that the majority of folks from the mountain state are hardworking, genuine, reliable people that wave to you as they pass by, stop if you need a hand, and expect the same from their neighbors. Unfortunately, the states economic troubles, rooted in fancy dressed folks from the Northeast robbing the wealth from within the mountains from which the state draws its name and taking it back with them to Cape Cod, leave many of those great West Virginia folks without the infrastructure that affords them the opportunity to escape their stereotypes. In fact, many of the West Virginians who do work hard to educate themselves end up heading to Charlotte, Washington DC, and Pittsburgh, following jobs that don’t exist in their own state. But while it might not offer the best job opportunities for college graduates, or a metropolitan scene to support a younger population, there are some things about West Virginia you just can’t find anywhere else. I’ll give you 5.
1.
The Pepperoni Roll- Arguably the most important offering the state has (and this is by all means a compliment to both the state and the food), the pepperoni roll is one of those mysteries of cuisine. Why is In and Out Burger restricted to the west coast? Why do bagels in New York taste so good, yet Mexican food there is so weak? Why are east coast cheetos cheesy poofs entirely different than west coast cheetos cheesy poofs? All mysteries. Just is that of the limited dissemination of t
he Pepperoni Roll. It’s so simple, a well prepared white roll, stuffed with two 2 to 3 pieces of stick pepperoni. Soft on the outside, grease soaked on the inside, this snack is perfect hot or cold. To me, it’s THE West Virginia food (many would argue that the “
west virginia hot dog,” about which is an
entire cookbook that I own, owns this distinction, but to me its just not as unique). And yet, no one believes me…until I prepare a batch for them. Unfortunately, mine never come out as good as those from the bakery’s surrounding the fairmont area in which I was born. In fact, the pepperoni roll really loses its magic within an hours drive in any direction from that place. In Charleston, where my father lives, you can buy them, but they aren’t the same. In fact, anywhere else you think you’ve found one, don’t be fooled. It’s probably only
“like fairmont guts”.
2
. Bridge Day- 364 days out of the year it is illegal to jump off the western hemisphere’s largest steel arch bridge (1700′ steel arch). However, once a year, hundreds of thousands of BASE jumping nuts descend upon the new river gorge valley and jump off The New River Gorge Bridge, which also happens to be the second highest bridge in the country (876′).
Bridge Day represents an interesting community of “part time” West Virginians that I hope will one day revitalize the states economy through promoting ecotourism. While Bridge Day is the extreme of these extreme outdoor thrill seeker attractions in the state, the top notch mountains, white water rafting, forests, and fishing could serve as a selling point for the state, if it just did a better job managing and promoting it.
3.
Sports fan devotion- Look at this guy. He just says it all. West Virginians live for their sports teams. Be it WVU or Marshall, the lack of a pro sports franchise in the state doesn’t stop mountain staters from being avid sports fans. Quite the contrary. I have more informed conversations regarding sports (of all kinds) when I am in West Virginia than anywhere else. It might have something to do with the ridiculous amount of top tier athletes the state produces relative to its small size. From Jerry West to Randy Moss, the state has produced more than its fair share of
top athletes. In fact, Randy Moss and Jason Williams played on the
high school basketball team(also with another teammate who played football at Notre Dame and eventually in the NFL) and did not win a state championship their senior season. You can’t say the same about OJ Mayo’s Huntington High School team, which is arguably one of the best high school teams ever assembled, with Kentucky’s Patrick Patterson and Oklahoma’s Chris Early also from the team. I would guess that their generation of kids from Huntington, WV (the small town where Marshall University is) probably is the most ridiculous concentration of talent to ever grace a small American town at once (when you also consider that Kansas State’s Bill Walker is also from the town. Anyway…I can talk WV sports forever, but in an effort to finish this post I’ll end this number with OJ Mayo’s high school career ending
dunk. (set to explosions in the sky by some talented youtube film maker).
4. Senator Robert Byrd- To be honest, I really don’t know too much about Senator Byrd, except that he is really really really old. This guy is the most tenured fella in the senate by quite some time, and he did get really upset at how mike vick treated dogs. He was once in the Klan (a very uncool fact that might have some relevance to the opening paragraph of this entry, though probably not much), and has been in congress since Eisenhower was president. He has done a lot for his oft-forgotten homestate, and I am convinced that if he ever does stop moving, West Virginians will continue to elect him.
5.
Top Quality Hip Hop- So after my first year in Malaysia in 1994, my older brother was kicked out of our house by my mom and stepfather, sentenced to a year of high school at South Charleston High School. There he met Sam…who let’s you know about the
rabble razzlers in this urban tour of the West Virginia hip hop scene. Only in WV does a rapper cooking crack whilst holding a baby make it into a music video.
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I had a interesting conversation on the way to school today with one of my close friends with whom I share a lot of social ideals. However, it frustrated me to hear her argue against (and I am stretching and paraphrasing here) Barack Obama’s “connection” with the American populace and disturbingly reiterating Hillary’s (who, to my friend’s credit, she supported from the beginning as the health care reformer candidate.
I had a interesting conversation on the way to school today with one of my close friends with whom I share a lot of social ideals. However, it frustrated me to hear her argue against (and I am stretching and paraphrasing here) Barack Obama’s “connection” with the American populace and disturbingly reiterating Hillary’s (who, to my friend’s credit, she supported from the beginning as the health care reformer candidate.
It’s time for me to make my bi to triannual pilgrimage to NYC, otherwise known as “the city” to people from long island or aspiring dbag transplants wearing leather jackets, too much product in their hair, black stilettos, and an accent (authentically awful, or entertainingly embarrassing in its emulation). I really hate when people call it “the city,” (a designation I prefer stay on throwback golden state warrior jerseys) and whenever people say it, no matter how obvious, I make sure to ask them which city they are asking about…usually ending up in a response along the lines of “oh come on…the CITY…you must not be from the CITY.” I think it is the self congratulation in a statement like that that boils my blood. Like they are giving themselves a pat on the back for making it in the big tough city. I think that’s part of the satisfaction for the all growed up fratastic young professionals dwelling in Murray Hill, or the purposefully awkward crowd of hipsters that have made it their mission to gentrify the entire borough of Brooklyn. But that’s not all of it. Yes, living in New York can be a pain in the ass. It’s hot and muggy in the summer, cold and wet in the winter, and a closet sized studio in Brooklyn costs more than my beach front 2 bedroom with a garage, yard and out door movie theater San Diego apartment. That said, New York does offer things that no other place does. That’s why I keep going back and back and back and ALWAYS have a great time when I visit. So I have no beef with those who choose to live in New York, just don’t call it the CITY. San Francisco is the CITY. If you need a pet name for your adopted home in an attempt to place yourself on an artificial pedestal, call it the Big Apple. Anyway…five things, good and bad, about nyc:
1. Size=Diversity; Island=Accessibility (+) New York City is ginormous. As a result, whatever you’re into, it’s there for you. The two aforementioned “scenes” are stereotypical of the things I used to get into when I was living in NY in college, but seriously almost whatever you want to do, you can do it. In the mood to pop your collar, blow dry your hair, and go listen to “please don’t stop the music” all night on the upper east side, it can happen.
But the great part of New York is, you can start your night there, and due to the small size of the city, end up eating a frito pie at the Levy in Williamsburg, watching a few of the locals go at it by the big buck hunter machine. (again, for the most part, its pretty compressed. further gentrification might have us ending nights in Newark soon enough…but for now, its great.)
Hell, even if you are in to the surf culture thing, which I get overdosed with out here in SD…you can find it in nyc. I used to take the subway to penn station in college and nj transit it to belmar for a day’s worth of surfing, and be back in town to party in the evening. In fact…I think I surfed more when I lived there than I do now, and now I am steps from a far nicer beach with much better surf. Kind of weird how that works out…
2. The bodega and its anti debit card effect (-) This is a big negative for me. I’m known to get some serious munchies from time to time (see number 3), and when I want a big bag of skittles, a quart of ben and jerry’s ice cream, some cheesy poofs (which I admit, are better on the east coast than the west coast), some peanutbutter m and m’s, and potentially something savory that can be crisped in the oven (e.g. starts with h and ends with ot pocket)…I would like to think I could get that all at one store. In California not a problem. Many grocery stores are open 24/7 and 7/11’s are everywhere. In NY, I would reckon it would be particularly difficult to find a place that has it all, and if by some miracle you did…and you’ve transitioned away from cash as I have…you wouldn’t be able to buy it anyway! See…so many places in ny are cash only, making me always have to carry tons of annoying bills, change etc…where in Cali all I need is one piece of plastic. I so prefer this. Not only is the load lighter, but it also doesn’t constantly remind me of how much of the money I don’t have anyway I am blowing through in a super expensive city.
3. The Food (mostly +) -I won’t elaborate here because its already late and I have to wake up at 6 to catch my morning flight, but this is probably one of my favorite reasons to go to nyc. Most of my all time genre favorites are there, burgers, milk shakes, pizza, soup, bagels…the list goes on and on. That is until you get to Mexican. I remain perplexed on this one. Now, I admit, I never knew what good, cheap Mexican food was until I got to California, but now that I am out here, I can’t see how everyone else screws it up SO BAD. It’s not hard to make. The ingredients aren’t expensive. Yet when I want a Carne Asada burrito with some flautas
after a good long night out, it ain’t happening in new york (for one, there are hardly any good late night eats in ny, a frustrating truth that allowed my roommate and I to hone our foreman cookbook, and introduce the grilled peanutbutter and jelly and cholula sandwich). But why? There are Mexicans everywhere there. There are Mexican restaurants everywhere there. Invisible hand Adam Smith, where the fuck are you. In theory, you would think that the Danny Trejo’s of the California Mexican food scene (second tier, underappreciated restaurants that don’t get as much traffic as the big boys) could move their shop to Broadway and become Antonio Fucking Banderas. It’s another example of how the free market in America must be broken.
4. The Subway (mostly -): When you first are in ny, you think the subway is the greatest thing ever. It’s one of a kind…an ancient feat of public transportation that in theory helps contribute to the accessibility quality of new york described in 1 above. Its reasonably priced…for ny anyway. It allows you to get hammered, then embark to wherever the night may happen to take you. In principle, a good thing. However, after living there, I grew to loathe the thing. In the summer, the stations are unbearably hot and smelly. In the winter it’s cold and you end up freezing while waiting sometimes an hour or more for a train to come (especially late at night). Even though I am poor, I have almost given up on the subway completely (unless going to a baseball game), and am pretty much exclusively a cab guy. I think part of it is that I grew up in a third world country with cheap cheap taxis. Once you have someone driving you around to whereever you want to go, particularly in a place where roads take you there quick, it’s hard to go back. I do want to say for the record that without subway stations, the black guy with the lazy eye that sings beatles songs better than the beatles ever dreamed of singing them wouldn’t exist. I haven’t seen him in a few trips, but if anyone knows who I am talking about and sees him, get his contact info. I really want him to play my wedding.
5. The City that Hardly Ever Sleeps (+++)- I appreciate it that nyc respects my decision to end my night whenever I damn please. Granted, shit does close there sometimes (only in vegas does the party never truly end), but usually not until 4. Where I am now, we are getting last call by 1:30 and shoved out before 2. Its only 2 hours, but the hours between 2 and 4 are most often when the magic happens. I miss ny everytime get kicked out of a bar here…at least until I get to the taco shop.
Okay…time to try and sleep. See you ny fools tomorrow.
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