April 2008 Archives

It's time for me to make my bi to triannual pilgrimage to NYC, otherwise known as "the city" to people from long island or aspiring dbag transplants wearing leather jackets, too much product in their hair, black stilettos, and an accent (authentically awful, or entertainingly embarrassing in its emulation).  I really hate when people call it "the city," (a designation I prefer stay on throwback golden state warrior jerseys) and whenever people say it, no matter how obvious, I make sure to ask them which city they are asking about...usually ending up in a response along the lines of "oh come on...the CITY...you must not be from the CITY."  I think it is the self congratulation in a statement like that that boils my blood.  Like they are giving themselves a pat on the back for making it in the big tough city.  I think that's part of the satisfaction for the all growed up fratastic young professionals dwelling in Murray Hill, or the purposefully awkward crowd of hipsters that have made it their mission to gentrify the entire borough of Brooklyn.  But that's not all of it.  Yes, living in New York can be a pain in the ass.  It's hot and muggy in the summer, cold and wet in the winter, and a closet sized studio in Brooklyn costs more than my beach front 2 bedroom with a garage, yard and out door movie theater San Diego apartment.  That said, New York does offer things that no other place does.  That's why I keep going back and back and back and ALWAYS have a great time when I visit.  So I have no beef with those who choose to live in New York, just don't call it the CITY.  San Francisco is the CITY.  If you need a pet name for your adopted home in an attempt to place yourself on an artificial pedestal, call it the Big Apple.  Anyway...five things, good and bad, about nyc:

1. Size=Diversity; Island=Accessibility (+) New York City is ginormous.  As a result, whatever you're into, it's there for you.  The two aforementioned "scenes" are stereotypical of the things I used to get into when I was living in NY in college, but seriously almost whatever you want to do, you can do it.  In the mood to pop your collar, blow dry your hair, and go listen to "please don't stop the music" all night on the upper east side, it can happen.  

But the great part of New York is, you can start your night there, and due to the small size of the city, end up eating a frito pie at the Levy in Williamsburg, watching a few of the locals go at it by the big buck hunter machine. (again, for the most part, its pretty compressed.  further gentrification might have us ending nights in Newark soon enough...but for now, its great.)

Hell, even if you are in to the surf culture thing, which I get overdosed with out here in SD...you can find it in nyc.  I used to take the subway to penn station in college and nj transit it to belmar for a day's worth of surfing, and be back in town to party in the evening.  In fact...I think I surfed more when I lived there than I do now, and now I am steps from a far nicer beach with much better surf.  Kind of weird how that works out...

2. The bodega and its anti debit card effect  (-) This is a big negative for me.  I'm known to get some serious munchies from time to time (see number 3), and when I want a big bag of skittles, a quart of ben and jerry's ice cream, some cheesy poofs (which I admit, are better on the east coast than the west coast), some peanutbutter m and m's, and potentially something savory that can be crisped in the oven (e.g. starts with h and ends with ot pocket)...I would like to think I could get that all at one store.  In California not a problem.  Many grocery stores are open 24/7 and 7/11's are everywhere.  In NY, I would reckon it would be particularly difficult to find a place that has it all, and if by some miracle you did...and you've transitioned away from cash as I have...you wouldn't be able to buy it anyway!  See...so many places in ny are cash only, making me always have to carry tons of annoying bills, change etc...where in Cali all I need is one piece of plastic.  I so prefer this.  Not only is the load lighter, but it also doesn't constantly remind me of how much of the money I don't have anyway I am blowing through in a super expensive city.

3. The Food (mostly +) -I won't elaborate here because its already late and I have to wake up at 6 to catch my morning flight, but this is probably one of my favorite reasons to go to nyc.  Most of my all time genre favorites are there, burgers, milk shakes, pizza, soup, bagels...the list goes on and on.  That is until you get to Mexican.  I remain perplexed on this one.  Now, I admit, I never knew what good, cheap Mexican food was until I got to California, but now that I am out here, I can't see how everyone else screws it up SO BAD.  It's not hard to make.  The ingredients aren't expensive.  Yet when I want a Carne Asada burrito with some flautas 

after a good long night out, it ain't happening in new york (for one, there are hardly any good late night eats in ny, a frustrating truth that allowed my roommate and I to hone our foreman cookbook, and introduce the grilled peanutbutter and jelly and cholula sandwich).  But why?  There are Mexicans everywhere there.  There are Mexican restaurants everywhere there.  Invisible hand Adam Smith, where the fuck are you.  In theory, you would think that the Danny Trejo's of the California Mexican food scene (second tier, underappreciated restaurants that don't get as much traffic as the big boys) could move their shop to Broadway and become Antonio Fucking Banderas.  It's another example of how the free market in America must be broken.

4. The Subway (mostly -):  When you first are in ny, you think the subway is the greatest thing ever. It's one of a kind...an ancient feat of public transportation that in theory helps contribute to the accessibility quality of new york described in 1 above.  Its reasonably priced...for ny anyway.  It allows you to get hammered, then embark to wherever the night may happen to take you.  In principle, a good thing.  However, after living there, I grew to loathe the thing.  In the summer, the stations are unbearably hot and smelly.  In the winter it's cold and you end up freezing while waiting sometimes an hour or more for a train to come (especially late at night).  Even though I am poor, I have almost given up on the subway completely (unless going to a baseball game), and am pretty much exclusively a cab guy.  I think part of it is that I grew up in a third world country with cheap cheap taxis.  Once you have someone driving you around to whereever you want to go, particularly in a place where roads take you there quick, it's hard to go back.  I do want to say for the record that without subway stations, the black guy with the lazy eye that sings beatles songs better than the beatles ever dreamed of singing them wouldn't exist.  I haven't seen him in a few trips, but if anyone knows who I am talking about and sees him, get his contact info.  I really want him to play my wedding.

  

5. The City that Hardly Ever Sleeps (+++)- I appreciate it that nyc respects my decision to end my night whenever I damn please.  Granted, shit does close there sometimes (only in vegas does the party never truly end), but usually not until 4.  Where I am now, we are getting last call by 1:30 and shoved out before 2.  Its only 2 hours, but the hours between 2 and 4 are most often when the magic happens.  I miss ny everytime get kicked out of a bar here...at least until I get to the taco shop.

Okay...time to try and sleep.  See you ny fools tomorrow.

They both must not be white.  

They must be partners in some form or another.

They can not be the same race.

So...without further ado.

1. John Cho and Kal Penn-These guys were the inspiration for this list.  They transformed two underappreciated american minorities from "the annoying chinese classmate" and "the overstudious indian college student with a goofy accent" supporting extras (american pie and van wilder respectively) into multi comedy mega stars (okay, I may be stretching that, but that's what Harold and Kumar have become to me).  Really, our asian and subcontinent neighbors are in larger numbers than the get credit for, and are often stereotyped as being weird and dorky. Really though, it is jealousy.  They make the transition from restaurant and 7-11 workers to doctors and engineers often in one generation, much quicker than most other people moving up the ladder of American dreams.  In general they are much more productive members of society than my caucasian brethren, and now they are making their mark in Hollywood.  I am hoping that they are a preview of things to come.  

2. Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady- When the Rockets first drafted the Yaoster, I was immediately intrigued by the relationships he was bound to develop with his American teammates...particularly Stevie Franchise.  But then Tracy McGrady joined the team, the franchise left, and Yao and McGrady have moved into NBA superstardom as a tandem (they are no stockton/malone yet, but I have a feeling they could get there).  Yao's transition to America has been smooth, his parents even opened up Yao's (basically PF Chang's meets The Yardhouse) which has been a very welcome addition to the Houston restaurant scene.  I often wonder if these guys hang out outside of basketball...I watched the documentary The Year of the Yao trying to find out.  Unfortunately, the documentary didn't go into his social adjustment, but the Sports Guy once mentioned that this is a million dollar reality show.  I also think Yao would be a great surreal life guest in like 20 years.  On a technical note, I really wanted to put Dirk and Steve Nash in here as my NBA tandem as German and Canadian.  Unfortunately they are both white so I don't get to comment on the photo below.  Though it might be more fun to use your imagination.

3. Rob Schneider and Eddie Griffin- I truly believe that the Deuce B Male G is the most underrated comedy series ever.  If you don't know what a chili rainbow is, then you just don't understand.  I think these guys have the asian/black comedy market cornered now (move over Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker).  Yes, that's right.  Rob Schneider is have Jewish, half Filipino...in other words, he eats balut with his matzo ball soup.  

4. Cheech and Chong- The originals.  In college, did you ever know that group that was a couple redneck kids, the exfootball player thug, the feminist activitst, the gamer, and the hipster college radiohost?   It could be one of those Michigan Ohio State ESPN commercial showing fans getting along with the tagline "Without sports, this wouldn't be disgusting."  Well, without marijuana that group makes no sense.  But Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong taught me at young age that this marijuana stuff is the ultimate uniter.  Unfortunately, not everyone has figured this out yet...harold and kumar have the potential to be cheech in chong for the new millenium.

5. Barack Obama and Bill Richardson- I originally had the old WWF axis of evil tag team slotted here (Nikolai Volkov and the Iron Sheik), but after a long internal strife I decided that no matter how shitty things are in many parts of Eastern Europe, I still couldn't consider a Russian a minority.  However, for those raised on that shit, I include a picture to remind.

In the interest of following my rules, I chose unlikely political power team, Barack Obama and his influential hispanic endorsing New Mexican Governor, Bill Richardson.  I say unlikely for two reasons.  First, the Clintons made Richardson's career by giving him important ambassadorial posts during Bill's presidency.  Democratic Cajun, James Carville used the word Judas to describe Richardson's surprise endorsement of Obama.  I mean, he watched the Super Bowl with Bill earlier in the campaign...doesn't that mean anything??  The second reason this comes as a surprise is because most Mexican people hate Black people.  When I was a high school teacher in Los Angeles, I went through 3 large scale race riots between black and mexican students in one month.  At least in LA, there is a lot of bad blood between these two groups...clearly, Richardson and Obama didn't grow up in South Central.

1.Angry German Kid-  Whenever I think I have a tough life, I think of this kid.  All he wants to do is play unreal tournament.  Poor kid.

2.Grape Stomping- I know most everyone has seen this but I have never not laughed when she starts screaming.  So its worth watching again if you haven't watched it in a while.

3. Super Timor- The first internet phenomenon video I was ever exposed to.  I always thought Nike had the best advertising campaigns, but clearly the best are in the Ivory Coast.

4. Full Court Basketball Shot- Another one that is probably over 10 years old now.  Seeing as I need to finish memorizing a bunch of stupid numbers, the clips I am watching can't be all that long.  I think this really gives you a good laugh for your 9 seconds.  

5. The R'uh national anthem- I'm tired and sad right now.  But I can't be too sad when I live in a country where we celebrate our patriotism like this.

After my all night renal GI adventure, I don't have much energy to introduce this thing, but I felt it necessary to throw out my support for this uhhh...how do you say...ahh...yes..."once in a generation leader."  Though I'm not exactly sure what that means, of the three remaining candidates, I am in Obama's camp...since Kucinich is as my dear Spokompton pal Nate says...a pinko bleeding heart communist.  Now...onto five reasons I support Barack.  

1. He's young(er).  As stupid as it sounds, it's the first time I actually feel somewhat of a peer connection to a politician.  And not just because he lists the fugees in his favorite music in his facebook profile. He looks younger and more connected to things I care about, like playing hoop (see his senior yearbook page above).

2. He's an elitist.  Or I guess I should say he is elite.  He's smart as all hell.  You don't become editor of the Harvard Law Review chasin' down armadillas.  He sounds presidential, drips with "informedness" when he speaks, and he has managed to run a campaign against the Clinton Party Train that 6 months ago was considered a LOCK for the whitehouse.  And he's showed her up consistently.  I used to be a Hillary fan.  But Obama has proved a better candidate in most facets of this game, (save his nonsense healthcare plan, which I truly believe he has the humility to modify once he realizes it's not working) so much so that Hillary's low balling tactics to stay competitive in this race have me NEARLY despising her.  I am ready for a president that can answer questions spontaneously and intellegently.  To me, when Hillary speaks, despite the fact that she claims to be a gun toting, down on the farm American, she drips with condescension.  You can see that she's not genuine by looking at her plastic smile as she speaks.  It looks like she's wet herself, and she is trying to keep you from noticing that something is just not right.  Something about Obama seems more real to me.  I actually believe what he is saying.  No doubt, the guy is a politician, and clearly a good one.  But listening to him speak, I believe he can use those skills to move the country towards his values and beliefs (which I believe parallel my own).   I think Obama has a chance to be an ELITE president, one the whole world might be able to respect.  NOT an elitist...at least in the sense relevant to the job he's running for...for more on that, see 3.

3. You know what?  Obama is better than the "gun clinging," progress hating, reality tv watching, foreign people hating, (relative to much of the world) uneducated, flag lapel wearing, overly god fearing, inappropriately patriotic, ignorant ass, bitter Pennsylvanians that I do agree he inappropriately stereotyped publicly.  But...imagine for a moment that its PE class.  And you are a team captain.  And you are picking teams.  Only the game is deciding the direction the United States should move towards over the next 4 years.  Are you picking Obama, or the stereotypical American described above?  And at the certainty of being called a "typical liberal elitist" I would offer that the stereotype is not that far off for lots of Americans today, and I fear that many in our country are getting even closer to that sterotype (at least in the xenophobic, unjustifiably patriotic, and ingnorant ass sense).  The gap between the have's and the have nots in this country is growing exponentially, unbeknownst to the many who would have a much easier time telling you about the real housewives of New York City, than the growing economic prowess in China. (I would be surprised if 50% of Americans could point out Shanghai on a map...seriously).  If you don't believe me, read this article  from yesterday's Pittsburgh Post Gazette, the town containing the very people that Obama put on blasts. ELITIST?  With regards to the presidency, I think an elitist is someone who puts America on a higher pedestal than everyone else in the world, not someone who criticizes the state of the current American populace.  Barack Obama has said he wants dialogue with Cuba and Iran.  The other two candidates say that's ridiculous; they say that those countries need to become, and I am simplifying here, more like us before they would dare opening up dialogue.  Is that not elitist?  How much shit did Obama take for dressing in traditional Kenyan attire when meeting with politicians there?   Isn't that type of culutural respect a good thing?  Would Hillary have done the same?  This nation needs to start demonstrating some humility.  We are flawed, and if we don't recognize that soon, our growing population of "have nots" is going to become a permanent lower class staring at a tiny minority of wealthy, educated, privileged Americans reaping the benefits of emerging middle class economies in India and China.  And before you call me a leftist bigoted snob, consider this.  I'm a medical student planning on going into a lucrative specialty.  I am going to be in the "have's" catergory.  For me, finances will hopefully never be an issue.  My frustration is rooted in the fallacy that is spoonfed to Americans on Fox News on a daily basis.  The American dream is alive and well in this country.  We are the world power, a shining example of how things should be done on this chaotic, unjust planet.  If that is the case, how come so many Americans are struggling?  It's only going to get worse. We need to start acknowledging that our standard of living is too high to compete with giant nations in the rest of the world wanting a taste of what we've been stealing.  Elitist=thinking we are better than everyone else.  Let's face it, national attitude is plagued with patriotic elitism.  And if we don't decide to move in a new direction, we'll sink that way.

1. GoDaddy.com.  I can't really go into much detail about why they suck, because I don't really understand much of the computer lingo that was on the message boards I was reading.  But according to those boards...which were way to numerous for it to be even worth providing a link to...godaddy sucks balls.  They aren't compatible with movable type, have awful technical support, and have Dale Jr on the front of their webpage.  Needless to say, on Connolly's advice I switched to dreamhost, and within an hour had this thing up and running.

2. Blogging software.  How hard is it to make decent blogging software that doesn't require coding to get setup.  I don't claim to be a computer genius, but I'm not as bad as a lot of computer users either, and setting up a blog should NOT be this hard.

3. Addiction.  I have a pretty big pathology exam on Monday morning and haven't been able to study shit, because I've been addicted to figuring out how to get this blog up.  

4.Too many tutorials.  I know this should be a good thing, but with so many people offering their 2 cents on how to set up movable type, I didn't know which one to follow.  There needs to be a better system of universally rating web content...all types of web content, so this type of thing would be easier.  It would also have made it easier to find the Rick Rolling website I searched for yesterday in an embarrassingly botched attempt to Rick Roll my fantasy league.  The link is www.internetisseriousbusiness.com if you are wondering.

5. NBA playoffs.  Hard to focus with spurs suns game 1 on in the background.  F manu ginobli.